Newest Member of the Blue Man Crew

This morning was a tough morning for me. I woke up feeling a lot of anxiety and wanted to see Will as soon as I got up. Since I had to pump first, I called and asked how he was doing and if you can remember from previous posts, he can be very touchy. Angela, the nighttime NICU nurse, was trying to take blood and the alarm on the freezer in the NICU went off. The alarm is there to sound if the temperature falls within a certain point (this is where breastmilk is stored). I have heard the alarm and it is pretty loud. Well, this morning Will was not havin' it. Because of the alarm, his stats were all over the place and it took some time for him to mellow out.

Once he leveled out, it was a busy day for him. He had blood drawn, a blood transfusion (which is totally expected since they draw so much blood for tests and his little body cannot keep up producing new blood), another brain ultrasound, phototherapy for jaundice, and an attempt to put in a PICC line, which is kind of like a shunt.

Here are a couple pictures of Will under Phototherapy or the Bili Light... or his debut as the newest member of the Blue Man Crew.

His transfusion went well, his ultrasound came back normal (thank god!), but the attempt at the PICC line was not successful. Right now he has a line for a multitude of medicines, nutrition, etc going into his belly button area. This line has to be changed out soon and if kept in could cause infection and a PICC line lasts longer and is much more comfortable for him. They start by going into a vein in the arm or leg and then it actually goes pretty deep into his veins and ends up in his chest near his heart. A PICC line is totally normal and expected for long term care while in the NICU. But right now his tiny little veins are so small, the PICC line was not able to travel as far as they needed. Since the placement of this line is not critical today, they will try again in a couple days. Starting at midnight the interval for feeding 1 ml of breastmilk will change from every 12 hours to every 6 hours. This is not so much for actual feeding but to get his system used to taking in, digesting, and eliminating.

Each time we went to visit today, it was a great visit. I always have anxiety driving to the hospital and going up the elevator to the 3rd floor, but once I got there and see how peaceful he was, I felt so much better. If his stats are stable, I ask to hold his hand. It is amazing how close I feel to him by simply holding his little hand. They encouraged us to sleep with one of his receiving blankets and then bring it in to the NICU to provide him with a sense of "us" in his world where he continues to develop. We did this and they put it into his isolette. Just to be prepared, we know that we have a long roller coaster ride ahead of us. They say we are in the "honeymoon phase" and to expect 2 steps forward and 1 step back, expect bad days, expect complications, expect infection. This is hard to imagine, but this is why it is so important that everyone continue their thoughts and prayers, because medicine can support him, but it is really up to Will to be strong and fight to live.

When parents talk about the overwhelming amount of love they feel for their children, I always wondered how that felt... well, I now know how that feels.